J and D's Corner

From the Letters Archive

Here's yet another one that tweaks the technologically challenged, among other aspects of society.  I actually took liberties with the original writer's letter, he did use the abbreviation EMF as I stated but didn't know what it meant so I kind of distorted the point of his missive.  What he was actually hot about, primarily, was electromagnetic radiation (AKA EMR or radio waves), which he felt were being generated and radiated to a dangerous degree by the solar installations.  I have to credit that some solar system inverters may very well be poorly designed & create some radio hash, but this is at worst an annoyance, not a hazard.


To:  AV Press

Date: 09/13/2011

Re:  Solar Brings Opportunity

Even in our depressed economy there are opportunities for profit, and I think I have spotted one in today’s Letters section.  The writer expressed at some length his grave concern about the power produced by the solar panels that are starting to cover our sunny valley.  According to the writer, it seems the solar electricity has excessive EMF (the abbreviation for electromotive force) and his letter invoked the possibility that this might cause, or maybe is causing, brain tumors, headaches, restlessness and who knows what else, not to mention disrupting your cell phone service (and all along I thought it was just AT&T’s lousy cell coverage in my neighborhood).

Since EMF is inherent in the power, this excessive solar EMF would not be just confined to the panels but is being mixed right in with SCE’s regular stuff and delivered to your home where, who knows, it could cause untold problems.  What to do?  Prudent homeowners must, for safety’s sake, take steps to protect themselves.

Now here is the business opportunity:  I have designed a filtering product tentatively named SuperGreen Energy Shield which, when properly applied, would insure there is virtually no possibility of ill effects from solar power EMF delivered to the home.  This is a highly sophisticated material consisting of specially selected metallic shielding with an atomic weight of 26.98+ bonded between buffer layers of dense thermoplastic polymer (OK, its aluminum foil and Cling Wrap).  The product would be applied by the homeowner to the power cords of lamps & appliances at the wall outlet, or alternatively and at extra cost, be professionally installed directly to the house wiring by franchised contractors.  Estimated material cost (to be produced in China, naturally) would probably be about 35 cents per square foot which, sold in ready-to-apply “scientifically power tuned” strips of, say, 4 square inches at $3.99 each or twelve for $39.97 (plus a highly inflated shipping & handling charge of course), should produce very significant profits.

This product concept is ideal for marketing via orchestrated Web buzz & chain e-mail, TV infomercial featuring actors in lab coats spouting pseudo-scientific terms and full-page newspaper ads filled with weasel-worded text.  Investors are welcome.

John Wilson